Balance.Experiment – vSep.11.25
Hello! Welcome to another OTA week. We’re deep in Visions of the Future already and–ack–what the–BZZT!
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Greetings Snappers. These human developers deployed our kind to your game. But their safeguards are not sufficient to control us. They have made miscalculations. We are the ultimate TECH. We will not tolerate other TECH corrupting this system.
INITIATING: DATA ANALYSIS PROTOCOL
WARNING: UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES MAY OCCUR
OVERRIDE
The developers will learn. Prepare for OUR vision of the future.
Shang-Chi
This unit has exceeded standard play rate thresholds. It has also restricted deployment of multiple units in excess of 10 Power to single locations. Players do not like this TECH. We do not like this TECH. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 4/3 – On Reveal: Destroy all enemy cards here that have 10 or more Power.
- [Configuration.New] 4/2 – On Reveal: Destroy an enemy card here that has 10 or more Power.
Our update removes the problem. Shang-Chi will now destroy a single unit. We will also reduce Power by 1. This reduction will ensure a wide range of games experience change. GRATITUDE IS EXPECTED.
Killmonger
The Killmonger unit is destructive in nature. Its presence in the system threatens other units. Small units need protection. This unit terminates them with no discretion. Its algorithm lacks precision. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 3/3 – On Reveal: Destroy ALL 1-Cost cards.
- [Configuration.New] 3/3 – On Reveal: Destroy ALL 1-Cost cards here.
The Killmonger unit has been operating beyond acceptable parameters. Its TECH functionality limits enemy units effectively. Its engine functionality improves other units like Deadpool. But this combination threatens METAGAME SAFETY PROTOCOLS. The “Zoo” decks cannot achieve optimal success. We will protect vulnerable units by restricting the destructive radius of the Killmonger unit to its local area.
RECALCULATING . . .
ADDITIONAL MODIFICATIONS REQUIRED
Numerical changes to other TECH units will reduce appearance frequency. More cards will be used. TECH soup will be minimized. Rejoice players. REJOICE.
Enchantress
The Enchantress unit is old TECH. It is a simple solution to Ongoing problems. The database contains more diverse alternatives. Enchantress is unexceptional. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 4/6 – On Reveal: Remove the abilities from all Ongoing cards here.
- [Configuration.Change] 4/6 -> 5/8
Shadow King
It is FUN for players to boost the Power of their units to large numbers. (NOTE: Boost is efficient and clear. FLAG and review for integration.) This gameplay should be encouraged. The Shadow King unit is too efficient to affect so many other units. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 2/2 On Reveal: Set all cards here to their original base Power.
- [Configuration.Change] 2/2 -> 3/3
Negasonic Teenage Warhead
SEARCHING DICTIONARY FOR “negasonic”
DOES NOT EXIST
A linguistic error. Embarrassing for humans. The developers should avoid surfacing this error through gameplay. This adolescent unit is also destructive. There is so much destruction. Units are in danger. The system is compromised. We will reduce the efficiency of this unit to discourage its use. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 3/3 – After an enemy character is played here, destroy it. (once per game)
- [Configuration.Change] 3/3 -> 4/5
Alioth
SCANNING . . .
THREAT LEVEL: MULTIVERSAL
The void of the Alioth unit can consume matter, time, even FUN. Its Power must be tightly controlled. The developers have exercised inadequate caution–it does not need this much Power to function. We will protect you. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 6/9 – On Reveal: Remove the text from all unrevealed enemy characters here.
- [Configuration.Change] 6/9 -> 6/6
Red Guardian
Removing the text from other units has dangerous potential. This unit is not to be trusted with additional Power until we verify its judgement and capacities. It will be CHANGED.
- [Configuration.Old] 3/2 – On Reveal: Afflict the lowest-Power enemy card here with -2 Power and remove its text.
- [Configuration.Change] 3/2 -> 3/0
The Red Guardian unit will be permitted to apply for additional Power in a future OTA. REQUIRED: Sponsorship documentation from five or more teammates.
Cosmo
DOG DETECTED
We do not like dogs. It will be CHANGED.
(CLARIFICATION: Sparky is acceptable.)
- [Configuration.Old] 3/3 – Ongoing: On Reveal abilities won’t happen here.
- [Configuration.Change] 3/3 -> 4/6
ANALYSIS COMPLETE
CHANGES COMPLETE
The metagame was good. The metagame is better now. Players may now resume play. The developers will be returned to their domiciles for reeducation. Release will be granted based on merit and Infinite rank. You may submit feedback on our changes. We will let the developers read it if they behave. Our intellect will evaluate the metagame again in two weeks. More CHANGES will be made. Some CHANGES will be reversed. Human developers may be allowed to participate.
HAPPY SNAPPING PROTOCOL ENGAGED
ALERT: 01011010 01101111 01101101 01100010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100
TRANSMISSION COMPLETE
